Choosing Joy

These past months have been filled with personal sorrows the likes of which I’d not anticipated.  I have worried about–and even said goodbye–to too many loved ones, and I hadn’t yet grieved for those I had to let go of before that.  I am fully aware that my personal hurts are relatively small potatoes compared to those of many others in my community, and in the world. But in my life, they seem like pretty big potatoes. 

A really important lesson that I learned a number of years ago, though, was that true joys can coexist with true sorrows.  They bob along together in this river of experiences, sometime gently bumping against one another, sometimes overtaking one another in dramatic ways that can either be beautiful, or downright terrible.  Through the years, I’ve gotten better at noticing the joys before they get downstream too far and away from me, and at really paying attention to–and being thankful for–them. 

Here are a series of them that continue to make me smile:

Joy #1: Bearing Witness to Love

A dear friend, Cindy, wanted to add something fun to her husband’s beloved music room. She wanted this to be accomplished during one of his weekly golf games, so he would be surprised when he came home.  I love that people who have been married for many years (I think, 40+, in this case), still are thinking of ways to show their love and sense of fun with one another. 

Joy #2: I Get to Help

My friend asks, can I decorate the cabinet faces in the room with something “music-y”? Her husband, Phil, is also a treasured friend, and I am delighted to get to be a part of this secret plan.

Joy #3: Collaboration

We decide that putting part of some kind of iconic song on the cabinet doors that is either significant to them, or that he has sung, would be fun. We figure it out!

Joy #4:  The Work

I go to work, creating a design that can be be cut out of vinyl and affixed to the doors.  After some fits and starts, I complete it.  Cindy is patient and gracious during some setbacks; and lovely and tea-bearing when it is finally time for me to install it in the music room.

Joy #5 The Reveal

Thanks to Cindy making sure that the moment is recorded, I am privy to Phil’s reaction upon coming home to find his gift from her. He is utterly surprised and delighted, and I get to see it.  The. Best. Joy. Ever.

Here is what we did:

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy, and keep choosing it every day.”   –Henri Nouwen